October 8, 2024 – Continues
After finding her in the bathtub, D helps her out, but M. feels alone and misunderstood. Everyone around her seems to dismiss her pain, encouraging her to see things from his perspective.
In the meantime, D has called a friend who isn’t even in the city and asks for her to call for help.
The crisis team comes over but M. refuses to go again to the ER, remembering the horrible interaction from the previous time.
She promises to reach out to the crisis team the day after and they leave.
Her friend and D. don’t really ask her what has happened or why she was attempting suicide. Her friend only says that D. seems distressed.
M, in her own distress, apologizes to him, even tells him to take care of himself because he seems traumatized.
They leave her alone at home to sleep it off that night.
October 9, 2024
In a moment of vulnerability, she decides to reach out to her friends by posting a picture on social media. She shares it with him beforehand, seeking his opinion. He agrees but suggests she removes his brother from the audience to avoid family complications, and she complies.
He pretends not to know about the post and appears shocked.
A lot of people, friends and colleagues, are worried. They reach out to D. To ask how M. is and to ask him whether it is OK to text her.
M never hears from any of them again.
October 10, 2024
They were supposed to have their first couple’s therapy session. He refused with the excuse of work, he is starting night shifts, but he goes to her house and makes chili for her and her friend.
M has discussed the option of doing the session alone with the couple therapist but she was told no, it’s not how it’s supposed to work.
So she reschedules for the 14th.
Uneasy Around Him
He keeps spending every night and every day with M. After all he has been back living at her for a while now.
October 12, 2024
After spending time with mutual friends, M. suddenly feels overwhelmed by the presence of D next to her. All the hurt he’s caused floods back, and she feels unsafe, in danger, under threat.
She asks him to leave, but he refuses.
After repeated pleas by M in tears, half an hour to an hour later, he finally leaves.
Despite her instincts, she convinces herself that her feelings of danger must be related to her depression, failing to see the full picture. She tries to reach out to a trusted friend for support, but they don’t answer.
October 13, 2024
The next day, D checks in on her. She admits she feels unsafe around him but attributes it to her depression. They have a trip planned, but she feels too weak to go and asks him to stay with her.
He refuses, saying he needs a vacation.
Desperate and hopeless, she overdoses on tranquillisers, history has taught her that cutting and sleeping pills are not efficient and plastic bags are horrible!!
Her best friend goes to her place and finding her brings her to the hospital.
There her best friend learns that M. has noticed that she is always having this episodes after fight with D. The hospital recognizes him as a trigger but suggests they try couple therapy.
M agrees.
They still have their appointment the next day after all.
The Narcissist’s Response
October 14, 2024
After her hospitalization, M. learns that the Narcissist contacted her family, painting a detailed picture of his “good intentions” toward M. and stating that there’s “nothing more he can do” for her. He repeats over and over that M. is jealous and insecure and that she cannot handle a woman that is interested in D. Not one mention of his wrongdoing. A made up story.
He tells them M. “doesn’t seem to like him anymore” and insists he’s leaving the country for a much-needed break. He is hurt that the woman he loves doesn’t believe that he loves her.
He adds onto the lies by saying M. Cannot come anyway to their trip as she has doctor’s appointments nearly everyday, he even makes up a schedule for her parents.
Her family tells him that, even if they’re no longer together, he should stay; it would be inhumane to leave her now. He perceives this as a personal attack and dismisses their concerns.
He has clearly decided to go on this trip, he wants someone to agree with him so he can play the “x told me to go”. He isn’t getting that from her parents so he reaches her best friend again.
Her best friend is in problem solving kode, trying to coordinate communication with M’s family and her friends. No one is directly speaking to M, all goes through D. First.
In this caoutic situation, D reaches out to the best friend and goes on and on explaining how M has told him to go, she doesn’t want him anymore, he does not know what to do. And keeps asking the best friend “should I leave?”. The friend says “No” over and over again. But he insists, until in the end, tired of the conversation that is taking her attention from more important matters, she tells him to do whatever he wants.
When her family asks about M.’s condition, he vaguely mentions that she’s been hospitalized, though he’s unsure of her location or who she’s with, suggesting maybe her best friend.
Alarmed and distressed, her family reaches out to everyone they know, preparing to visit her without informing her to avoid causing further anxiety.
M
After the overdose, M. returns home, waking up with no clarity. The last 24h are gone. She is anaware of the conversations with the doctors, the fact she was in hospital, the fact that D. has contacted her family to “break up with her(?)”.
He attempts to call D as her last memory is her telling him to leave her alone and him insisiting to stay for her. He doesn’t respond.
Her best friend, who was in the ER with her, has heard the doctors refer to D as a trigger. She has interpreted that literally. So she urges D not to answer M’s calls.
When he isn’t answering, M starts calling another trusted friend. They also are instructed not to answer in a similar way.
M. is confused, scared and alone. No one is picking up. And the only memory she feeling usafe. And the knowledge that she failed also at killing herself.
D answers only one call that day. When he is sure that M’s best friend isn’t around.
He confirms he’s leaving alone for the trip they had planned together and breaks up with her over the phone with no explaination, adding off handedly that her father is coming to visit, despite the fact that her family had told him not to say anything worrying it might trigger her.
After an entire day spent ignoring her and complaining to her best friend that he was being harrassed, after “following” M’s instruction not to answer because even a casual conversation might be a trigger, he decided to pick up the phone and said all the things he knew would trigger her. Anything so he can leave for his holiday in peace.
Dismayed, M. contacts her father, who denies any plans to visit.
Following the call, her family and friends scramble to uncover who told her, while he denies any involvement.
Each lie and now the dismissal deepens her resolve, reinforcing her belief that she means nothing to him and that everybody else will be better off without her to worry about.
She finally accepts that she’ll never find peace, happiness, or understanding in this relationship. He will never acknowledge her pain, validate her feelings, or take responsibility for his actions. He will always dismiss her hurt, urging her to “get over it.”
Though part of her believes they’re “happy together,” another part realizes that he’s willing to leave her when she needs him most, prioritizing his vacation over her well-being.
Feeling trapped and convinced she’s at fault – either for being unable to forgive him or too weak to handle the immense hurt – she overdoses again that evening, doubling the dose of the previous day.
Alone again
October 15, 2024
The following days pass in a fog, with M. remembering very little.
When she finally regains some clarity, her best friend visits and informs her that the Narcissist has left for their. Shocked, M. tries to contact him but he doesn’t answer. She is still confused and can’t remember much. The fog in her mind is still thick.
Her father arrives, but she sends him away.
M. overdoses again, this time with an even larger dose. She loses consciousness.
October 16, 2024
When she wakes, his dad is back by her side, but her memories remain hazy, each day blurring into the next. She tries once more to reach out to him, but he’s refusing any contact and seems distressed by her calls, mad even.
He tells her to stop calling.
What has she done? other than trying to understand the truth and giving him chances to explain?
Still in a fog, unaware to the message to her family and with no clear memory of the last 4 days, unable to understand why he’s left, M. questions herself, wondering if her depression is to blame.
In a final expression of frustration and heartache, she posts her feelings on social media.
She is still confused and not thinking clearly. This day is also a blur.
But in a turmoil of emotions she goes from hating him to begging him to please answer because she needs him.