Discovering the Lies
January 4, 2024
M. is baffled by his lies. He dismisses her concerns, gaslighting her by saying it’s “nothing” and that she’s overreacting. Instead of explaining, he simply hands her his phone.
M. discovers that he and Uber Girl have been messaging for at least six months. He insists it’s meaningless – he doesn’t even like her, so why would it be a big deal? Reluctantly, she lets it go.
What M. doesn’t know is that he’s already deleted all inappropriate messages. But Uber Girl has kept screenshots, and months later, M. will finally decide to speak to her directly.
The Strain Deepens
January 8, 2024
M. spirals into depression, even self-harms. She is unable to go to work, she barely leaves her bed.
He notices but says nothing.
January 10, 2024
M. hasn’t been able to leave her bed all week. She has taken sick leave from work. Her physical health is also suffering, she calls her GP again.
January 11, 2024
He asks if he can keep talking to Uber Girl, who he claims is messaging him “nonstop.” M., desperate and hurt, asks him to block her, though she’s crashed that he would even consider texting her after witnessing how badly she is hurting.
She is in too much distress, she asks him to move out, but he refuses.
Dismissed Insight
Days go by
They argue often, yet he remains unmoved. M. feeling disrespected and tormented while he resumes his usual life, ignoring her distress.
Desperate to understand her pain, she begins reading psychology papers, watching videos, and searching for resources that might help her find the right words to reach him.
In her search, she encounters several discussions about narcissism.
She thinks, This is it! This explains everything!
But when she brings it up with the narcissist, he lists all the reasons why it doesn’t apply to him.
M. persists for a few days but eventually decides to explore other topics, until, over time, she forgets all about it.
January 22, 2024
M. and D. go to Paris once again. M. is still upsets and keeps bringing up the topic of Uber Girl. D. keeps belittling the problem.
January 25, 2024
They are still in Paris. Still going through cycles of discussions and good/easy time. The stress is obvious on both sides. He finally says that the reasons he has hidden the fact that he was still talking with Uber girl is because his ex, A.R., was very jealous and that’s why he doesn’t want to share who he is talking to.
M. will realise that this is a lie, months later when she gets in touch with A.R. directly. But for the time being she settles a little.
New Boundaries, Old Patterns
January 28, 2024
Back from Paris, it looks like they are back to a calm state.
February 5, 2024
M. attempts to set boundaries to avoid having the same situation with Uber girl repeat in the future.
He responds by introducing “another girl,” his ex, whom he claims is also talking to almost daily. Though she’s wary of the timing, M. tries to accept, but when he shows her casually some of their conversations, she finds texts between him and his ex that seem far too intimate for friendship, discussing “regretting leaving an ex” and exchanging affectionate messages. She confronts him, suggesting his ex still has feelings. He confirms this with his ex but doesn’t share it with M.
Her sense of betrayal grows.
She asks him again to move out. Again, he refuses.
A Breath of Fresh Air
February 26, 2024
They visit M.’s parents. She’s exhausted and unable to sleep, struggling to cope with his dishonesty and lack of remorse. When she confides in her parents about Uber Girl and his ex, they speak to him. Afterward, her parents urge her to forgive him, believing he genuinely loves her.
Her friends echo this sentiment, downplaying the messages, telling her she shouldn’t even know who he talks to or how often.
Feeling isolated and misunderstood, everyone seems to think that lying to her and enganging with multiple women who fancy him shouldn’t be a problem to her.
March 4, 2024
It’s the last day of their family visit to M.’s parents. She isn’t sure whether to go back to London with him. Their problems are seriously affecting her and making it impossible for her to work. She offers to come back to London only on condition that he will move out. She is clearly unable to forgive him, she thinks if she has some space she might, but she needs to take a bit of distance from him. He agrees. They leave together.
Once in London, he refuses once again to move out, she is at her last straw, she cannot keep taking time off work because of their problems, she urges him to move out at least temporarily, offering to pay for a hotel if that is the obstacle, and even suggesting that she moves out herself so they can have some time not constanlty together.
His best friend, who is also the boyfriend of her best friend, offers to host him until they clarify or until he finds another place to stay, expecting to have him over maybe for a day or two.
He takes on his offer and finally leaves M.’s flat.
March 7, 2024
M. starts therapy for her fragile mental health.
She is still upset and conflicted. She loves D. but cannot understand why he is acting the way he does, why he seems completely untouched by all of the things she struggles with, why he cannot understand how much they are hurting her.
He keeps upologising, but his apologies seem empty, they lack true remorse.
The week after
D. stops by M.’s and tells her that he hates her: because of her he is now homeless (even though he is staying at his friend’s place, while she is at home still struggling with her mental health and being back at work), he now has no friends (because of M.’s concerns, he feels he cannot speak to anyone). He says all of her problems steem from her insecurities, he is an attractive man after all and girls will pay him attention, he is just trying to be nice, and because of M. he is now afraid to talk to anyone.
M. cries and tells him that what he is saying is untrue. She just wanted a bit of time and space to find the strength to forgive him, he has offered to pay for a hotel, he has offered to leave her own flat. Furthermore, she has never complaints or asked about the people he talks or chats to, until he has found out that he was lying about Uber girl. She keeps asking him why is he saying this, why is he doing this, is he trying to destroy her? hurt her? he is smart, a genius as he has said, he should be smart enough to know that everything he is saying is untrue and unfair and incredibly hurtful.
He stares at her, a bit confused by her words, maybe confused by the fact she isn’t apologising to him. Without a word, he leaves her while she is still crying and visible shocked.
The week after
M.’s friends tell her that D. cannot stay at their place anymore.. it’s been 2 weeks. He is starting night shifts, his sleeping pattern will clash with theirs and they also have reservations about having him there any longer.
She doesn’t mention any of this to D., she knows it would upset him knowing that his friends have asked for her help with him. She asks him if he wants to stay at her place during the night shifts. She will be working throughout the day while he sleeps, so she also thinks it won’t impact her too much if they barely see each other during the waking hours.
March 28, 2024
M. attempts suicide. She hasn’t really spoken to anyone about it. She takes a few sleeping pills, cut her wrists and stays in her bath tub full of water fully dressed.
March 29, 2024
M. wakes up. She has her weekly therapy. She discusses her problems with D. with the therapist, she mentions the self harming. She doesn’t get much out of the session.
April 3, 2024
M. has a flight to go see her family for Easter. She gets to the airport station, but she feels weak. She doesn’t have the strength to go any further. Every action seem a huge struggle. The thought of walking up those stairs to get to the plane seem the biggest effort she has ever had to do.
She gets on a train back to London and goes home.
April 5, 2024
D. comes back to London from his Easter holiday. He says he was hating M when he left, but he is ready to do anything to make her forgive him. She asks him only 1 question: has he spoken to his ex ever since their fight? He says yes. M. doesn’t want to know anything else.
He has found a new apartment only a few minutes from her place. He stops by M.’s place to pick up a few things, tries to talk to her and explain why he wants to keep in touch with his ex.
M. doesn’t want to hear it. She tells him to get all of his stuff and move to the new apartment. He says he has everything he needs and leaves.
April 6, 2024
D. says he has forgotten something at M.’s place. With this excuse he tries to talk to her, she doesn’t have time, she has plans with friends. The friends that didn’t want to go out with her while she was with him.
April 7, 2024
D. asks M. to go for a drink to talk. She refuses. He stops by her place to talk.
April 8, 2024
M. is back at work in the office. Until this day, she has been trying to do her best working from home.
She sees Uber girl during the morning coffee break in the office.
She and D. have another fight that evening.
April 11, 2024
D. asks her out again. She reluctantly agrees. They have different perception of their dinner, she hates it, she is short tempered and just wants to go home. He thinks they are back to their usual banter. He tries to hold her hand on the way out of the restaurant where they met. She pulls away. She walks her home. They talk again. She cries. She knows she loved him, but now she doesn’t feel the same way for him anymore. She wonders what is wrong with her.. she is confused… how can you love someone so much one day and feel nothing for him the next?
April 12, 2024
D. stops by her place again to pick up something he forgot. It is never something big, sometimes it’s just an extention chord. He tells her that her best friend has invited him to her place for dinner, his best friend will be there too.. Her best friend seems to be spending much more time with him than with her lately…
He invites her, M. agrees. She thinks it could be good for them to get outside of the bubble they are in and be with friends. She definitely sees this as a way to strenghten their relationship and she is trying to move on with all her heart. D. thanks her several times for agreeing to the dinner.
The dinner is fun. They share their love for music and everything seems ok, M is hurting a lot.
April 13, 2024
They have tickets for a DJ they love, the same one from their first hangout. He sees it as their anniversary, she sees it as her favourite DJ. She invites a girl friend to join them as well this time.
Reliving the moment they met it’s still magical. She is happy like she hasn’t been in a long time. She knows all the DJ’s song, she has been waiting for this event for a long time.
D sees this even as their anniversary. M disagrees. She has asked for space and time and she didn’t get ANY. She is happy to be at this event, but she feels uncomfortable.
April 14, 2024
He returns again to talk to her and “pick up something he has forgotten”.
April 17, 2024
D. asks her to go out to talk again. She is tired of this dynamic. She tries to leave early, but he keeps stopping her to discuss. She stays. It is the least. She still cares about him but something in her feels broken.
April 19, 2024
D. is again at her place. While she is working from another room, he goes through her stuff and her diary. They fight. He has always been protective of all of his belongings, but this somehow it’s not seen as outrageous by him. He apologiesies but keeps asking about things he read there. M expalins but he doesn’t really listen.
April 20, 2024
He asks her to join him and his friends for a BBQ. She refuses. She is still confused. She still needs time and he keeps involving her in his life as if they are together. He is desperately trying to push her into the same patterns.
April 21, 2024
He reaches out again. They talk. She knows she cares about him and something about this day feels different. They have dinner together.
They talk more and more. They sleep together. M thinks she should give him another chance.
They are back together. M texts her best friend saying “I think we finally solved everything, this time for good!”
April 22, 2024
He returns to her place, they have dinner together and then he stays at hers.
April 23 – 24, 2024
He resumes coming to her place every day and spending all of his free time with her.
April 25, 2024
After 5 consecutive days together, she feels again overwhelmed by D. and M asks him to leave her some space.
Her mental health declines quickly again. She doesn’t understand why but maybe her body is keeping the score and D not leaving her in peace is taking a big toll on her.
April 26, 2024
M. texts D. to tell him she is feeling really low. She feels destroyed and barely manages to work.
M. tells D. that she cannot get out of bed. She doesn’t feel like her usual self, she is desperate, she cannot find the strength for the event they have planned the next night, Meduza. She loves these DJs, but she cannot picture herself having the energy. What has happened to her? She usually wakes up singing and dancing? Who is this woman?
D. says nothing. He goes out with his friends.
Meduza
April 27, 2024
D. isn’t reaching out. M. tells him she is feeling destroyed, worse than usual, lower than usual.
He says nothing and goes to Meduza anyways – but with other friends. At the event, he flirts with another girl, A. or Meduza girl for me. At the end of the night she texts him “It was nice to meet you, let’s not wait for another rave to meet up.” To which he answers “We should go fo a beer then”. “Done” is how he describes this interaction to his friends. He hasn’t told them that M. and him are back together. He refers to M. as his ex, as he has with everyone for months now. M. obviously is still oblivious to all of this, this parallel world he has, this alternative narrative he talks about.
M. in the meantime is at home, lower than ever. She is conteplating suicide again, cutting doesn’t seem to be too useful, so she contemplates again sleeping pills and other methods. Eventually she falls asleep.
April 28, 2024
M. texts D. to tell her she is feeling awful still. She cannot remember how she was a happy girl once, even though only two weeks ago she was super happy during the event of her favourite DJ. She doesn’t remember that. She feels like she hasn’t been happy in a long loooong time. She wonders whether she will feel happy again.
He says nothing. He only tells her how amazing Meduza was, the best set he has ever seen he says.
After a few hours she texts him saying she cannot imagine ever being able to go out again and socializing, let alone attend the summer festival Tomorrowland Belgium as they have planned back in November 2023.
He says that it was supposed to be their thing, he has always wanted to go to Tomorrowland with her, ever since they met.
Later the same day she tells him “I have nothing left to offer” and she blocks his number.
April 29, 2024
She goes to work. D. is there. He seems pissed at her. He looks like he hates her. He avoids her all day. He avoids even looking in her direction.
She texts him that if he would like to talk they can meet after work.
April 30, 2024
They meet, he is angry. He says that when she told him that she didn’t want to go to Tomorrowland that was the last straw for him. He cannot be with her anymore.
Once again, M. doesn’t know that Meduza girl and him have already agreed on going out that weekend. He NEEDS to be single to make that date.
M. is falling apart even more than before, how can’t he see that she is depressed? How can he give up after pestering her for weeks about getting back together?
They have dinner together. He sleeps at her place.
May 1, 2024
He works from her place. He fucks her. He stays for dinner and they watch a tv show together.
M. is feeling hurt. She could tell from his eyes that he was just fucking her, there was no emotion. She texts him telling him that it wasn’t fair of him, he knew how much she has been struggling, that hurt her even more.